Roger's Secret Past
by harrypotroxsomuchyah
Summary: Roger has a past with April, a past many never knew. This will uncover secrets, secrets the could change lives. Will Roger let his past affect his future?
1. Chapter 1

**This is only the first chapter because I wanna see If people like it first, b4 I continue it sooooo, review please!**

As soon as I heard the news....I, I just couldn't believe it. _Why?_ I thought she loved me! WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? _Bang!_ My fist hit the cold wall. What if this isn't true? I bet Mark was just lied to me. I bet he is jealous. I bet they're ALL jealous! All I know is, I have to find out for myself. I started to run.

I didn't know what I was going to do when I got there, but I had to do something. I ran. So fast, every step I heard _her_ heart beat. I listened closely. I _needed _her. I kept running. Out of the corner of my eye I would see her, but when I went to look she would disappear. The wind would brush against my ear and I swear I heard _her _voice calling my name. I felt I hard object hit my feet and with a loud thump I hit the sidewalk.

_"Roger! Roger" She shouted as she waved. I knew exactly where she was. I had been watching her cheer me on the whole concert. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I slowly walked towards her, arms open, to welcome her into them. I held her close. I sniffed her exotic perfume. She looked up at me and I combed my fingers through her hair. Then we kissed gently. Her soft lips made me tingle every time it touch mine. I would rub her cheek with my hands. She would smile and put her head on my shoulder..._

I opened my eyes and realized I was laying on the ground.

"Ouch!" I moaned aloud as I felt bump on the back of my head. I slowly got to my feet and remembered why I got there. _April._ Through the pain, I keep running.

_"Look at this!" She giggled at an old picture of me. I smiled, like I always do when she laughs. I walked over to her and glanced at the photo her hands. "You like that?" I teased. She laughed again, which made me smiled even more. "Oh yes, you look very sexy." She joked. I laughed because I had a terrible hair-cut and braces in the photo. I looked like a geek. She put her arm around my waist. I pulled her in closer. This was the woman I would marry._

I shook the memory from my brain and kept running, I finally got to her apartment building and started up the stairs.

_"Happy Valentines Day Roggie!" She exclaimed as she entered my loft. I laughed. "I love you April." I said as we hugged. "I love you more." She replied. I smiled. "I bought you some flowers, their your favorite." I released her and reached over the table to get her the vase of roses I had delivered. "Aww, baby. How'd you know I loved roses?" I shrugged even though we both knew that she had laid a hint yesterday. "I also got you something else." Her eyes opened wide with joy. "Really? Oh my gosh I wanna see!" I knelt down on one foot. She covered her hands over her mouth with happiness. "This. April, will you marry me?" She looked at me. "Yes, Roger. I love you with all my heart." And she took my hand and pulled me to my feet. We wrapped our arms around each other, our lips touched. I thought I would never let go..._

I came to a stop when I reached her room. I was out of breath but I didn't stop to let myself catch it.

"April! APRIL!" I yelled as I banged on the door. No answer.

_What news could she possibly have at the hospital? I was very worried as I entered the building. What if she was... oh no. I needed to talk to her! I walked quickly to the receptionist. _

_"April Howard." I said._

_"Room 309, go up the stairs to your right." She mumbled and didn't look up the whole time. I just nodded and ran. I dodged nurses, dead bodies, and doctors on my way up._

_When I reached 306 the door was open a crack and I heard crying. Familiar crying. April's crying. I walked in to see her face buried in her legs._

_"April, what's wrong?" I asked._

_She looked up with a face full of concern. She pointed to a beige sheet of paper next to her._

_I grabbed the sheet of paper –desperate to find out the reason-- and opened it. It said: HIV positive..._

BANG! My foot hit the door at what seemed 90 miles and hour, knocking it down.

"April!!" I called again. "APRIL!!"

I looked carefully around every room. The bathroom, the bedroom, the living room. Until I got to her kitchen.

_"Are you mad at me?" She chocked up. She looked up, her eyes full of tears, drops rolling down her cheeks._

_"No baby you're going to be alright, I'll take care of you. I promise. We will get married and it won't affect us at all." I tried to convince her—mainly myself._

_"You don't get it!" She brawled._

_I began to cry too. "What don't I get?" I asked._

_"I gave it to you too."_

In the kitchen, the first thing I saw was a knife on the ground. A red liquid was on it. It wasn't until I saw her that I knew what it was. Blood.


	2. Chapter 2

.I stood over her bloody body, it was drenched.

"APRIL!!!" I screamed! "No! This isn't happening!" I felt tears in my eyes. I clenched my jaw and held her body close.

"April! You were suppose to stay with my forever! You promised me! Why did you do this to me!" Tears came faster and faster. My vision blurred, but I kept hold her close, holding _my _April close.

"WHY!?" I grieved.

_"April ever since that visit to the doctor you haven't been yourself." I looked at her. I could tell she was forcing a smile._

_"What are you talking about?" She pretended. I knew she was trying to cover it up. I walked over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She backed away. She was hurting, I was hurting._

_"Just go--"She commanded.  
"What? April I love you."_

_"If you loved me you would leave, and NEVER come back! I can't have you love me! STOP IT! If you get to attached and I, I.....I don't want to hurt you! LEAVE!" She shouted._

_"April..." I whispered, "Your hurting me, this isn't like you."My eyes stung with tears..._

I thought about our conversation that morning and cried again. If I had stay I could have stopped her! What kind of idiot would do what I had done! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!

On the table I spotted a purple note. April wrote with purple notes. I slowly laid her body down, like a baby in a crib. I kissed her once more and made my way towards the paper. I picked it up, it had red lipstick on it. April kissed it. I opened and began to read:

Dear Roger,

You are the love of my life. I'm sorry for what I said but truth is, I needed to die. By the time you read this I will be dead. I also had a secret I didn't tell you. I was afraid of what you would say. I was afraid you would dump me. Because, I'm pregnant. I couldn't have you throw away your whole life for me. I am not worth it. I'm not worth _you._ You are the love of my life, but alas I will not be the love of yours. I'm sorry I was a waste of time. Just forget about me.

Love, and I mean LOVE,

April

I read the note over and over again. So many things raced in my mind. She wasn't worth me? What was she talking about? I'm not worth _her!_ And she was pregnant?!? WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME??!!! I put the piece of paper in my pocket. I picked up the knife.

"If you won't be with me April, then I will be with you!" I yelled at no one in particular. And thrust the knife into my stomach!


	3. Chapter 3

Bright florescent lights shined above. I remember my eyes slowly opening and a familiar voice calling me.

"Roger, your going to be okay!" Whispered Mark.

I could sense worry in his voice. No! My plan didn't work! I'll never be with April! I started to cry, not because of my pain physically, but emotionally. I've failed her. I've failed life.

"Mark, where am I?" I mumbled. I tried to move but I felt a sharp pain at my side.

"At the hospital." He replied, he sounded a lot happier.

I looked around and my eyes finally focused and I saw Collins asleep in a chair next to girl. Or was it a guy? I wasn't sure... Mark was standing next to me. I could see the dark marks under his eyes. Maureen was sitting on the floor next to Joanne.

"How long have you guys been here?"

"Ever since I found you at...April's place." Mark said quietly.

The name April hurt more then my stomach.

"Roger baby? You awake?" I heard Maureen ask.

I tried my best to wave my arm to let her know but it looked more like I was wiggling. Mark nodded, he knew I needed help with that.

"Why am I still alive?" I moaned. Everyone starred at me with concern.

"Roger, we can't let you throw away your life for some girl!" Mark said, close to tear. I guess he really cared about my life-- since he is my best friend-- unlike I do. More then anything I wanted to die. I _wanted _to be with April. Why wouldn't she be with me?

Days past and I kept having dreams of April. She kept calling me, I kept chasing her, but she was never in my grasp.

When I got out of the hospital, I only became more depressed. Everything in the house reminded me of her. I couldn't escape. I felt like I was being strangled. For a while, Mark had to keep sharp objects away from me. Just in case I would try to do that again.

Depressed couldn't even compete with what I felt. I felt I was falling and April was flying, I felt _we could never be. _

_I saw April in the distance, she taunted me with her full lips, and charming complexion. I raced towards her only to find out she had disappeared._

_"April!" I called for her. No answer. I glanced around, Grey. Everything was Grey and foggy. The air smelt like her and the wind felt like her. I glanced at a light in the distance. I saw her. She was running towards it. _

_"APRIL!!" I screamed. "Come BACK!" _

_She looked at me a lowered her face._

_"Live your life to the fullest Roger, don't let me stop you." She cried and walked into the light._

_"NO I won't let you!" I charged at the light, it was slowly closing. Now within my reach I lunge towards it. Smacking hard onto the ground, covered in water._

"ROGER! Wake up!" Mark shouted.

"Wha-what happened?" I stuttered. I looked around the room. I was in my bed covered with water. Mark was holding a pitcher.

"What was that for?" I shouted.

"I had to do something, we were losing you." He mumbled.

"What? I don't get it." I paused to try to figure it out.

He starred at me blankly. "You stopped breathing for a minute and you were shouting April." He whispered.

"You mean I almost died?"

"Yes, luckily I saved you."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE??" I screamed at him. He starred back at me with confusion.

"You wanted to die?"

I rolled my eyes as if it were obvious. "I'd rather die then stay in this hell!!" I scream and sank back under the covers.

"Listen Roger, I'm your best friend, I wouldn't let you do that." He murmured.

"Just leave, you've done enough."

I peaked from underneath the covers to see his flabbergasted face.

"Fine Roger, I'm leaving. FOR GOOD!" He yelled. I could sense the hurt in his voice as he marched out of the room and slammed the door.

Great job Roger, now you have nothing! I knew I needed to make things better, he was my _best friend. _I couldn't lose him too. I hoped out of bed and put my clothes on. And walked out of my room. The lights were on in the kitchen and breakfast was already made. I didn't realize how hungry a person could be when they hadn't eaten for two days. I saw another note on the table. _I hate notes. _But it said: To Roger, on it so I picked it up anyways.

Dear Roger,

If your reading this letter then I know you probably felt good enough to get out of bed. I'm glad your feeling better. Maureen came over and helped me make your favorites. We were wondering if you wanted to come to her protest tonight, we think you need to get out more. I know I'm nagging but I really think you should. Maureen send her love.

Your Best Friend,

Mark

When I finished reading it I looked around. He _did _make all of my favorites. Maybe I've been taking him for granted. I have to make this right. So I sent it down and jogged out of the house.


	4. Chapter 4

As I walked outside the bright lights blurred my eyes. As I struggled to see I tried to think of places Mark would be. Maureen' sounds check. I hurried blindly through the streets until I came upon a familiar shitty building.

Once inside I immediately heard yelling.

"No Mark! I am not cheating on you!" Maureen lied.

"Maureen I saw you kissing her!" He screamed. _Mark._

I follow their voices to the main room. Maureen was on the stage and Mark was looking up at her from the floor. They saw me coming and Maureen turned silent. I walked up to them and Mark glared at me.

"Mark, I need to talk to you." I said in a hush tone.

"Not now." He said, his words pushing me away. I put my arm on his shoulder.

"Yes now." I insisted. We walked over to the side leaving Maureen curious yet mad.

"Listen," I began.

"Roger, I don't even know why your doing this if _you don't even like me!_" Mark's voice started to crack.

I stared at him blankly.

"Is that what you think?" I yelled.

"Yeah! It is! So get out!" He was furious. "Get out!!" He yelled again.

I started to do what he said till I got to door and realized the true meaning of his words. I walk back over to him.

"Mark, I do care about you, you're my best friend!"

"No I'm not, and you don't care."

That's it. That is what ignited my anger. The feeling burst threw my whole body. Unable to control myself, my body automatically decided to knock some sense into him.

BAM! I punch Mark in the head. He turned around looked at me.

"I see how it is." He growled. Then punched me in the nose! WACK!

My nose was bleeding, the pain was dreadful, but I didn't let it stop me.

BAM! I tackled Mark to the ground. We rolled over each other, punching and kicking none stop! Maureen starred with horror, not know what to do or who to call. Mark and I pulled on one another's hair.

"Ouch!" We both yelled, but we wouldn't stop.

Finally I decided we'd had enough. This would have continued of forever.

"Mark!" I yelled for him to stop. He looked at me and we let each other go. As we got to our feet I decided it was my turn to speak.

"Mark," I hesitated, "I'm, I'm sorry.

Mark smiled.

"I took you for granted while you were trying to help, I really do care if you're my friend."

He nodded as if to go on.

"I am just depressed," I sighed

"Apology accepted." He smiled even wider.

I smiled a little too. My first smile since this whole thing happened.

"So we still best friends?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

He nodded, "The best!"

We man-hugged and Mark walked back to Maureen.

"Mark, I've been thinking about us, for sometime and, well, we over." She said.

Mark and I exchanged glances.

"What?When did--" He started to say, but Maureen cut him off.

"We need to see other people. I like someone else."

Mark's eyes narrowed. "Who?" He asked in disbelief.

"Joanne." She answered. I did my best to suppress a giggle. Maureen's a lesbian?! Oh my god, Mark is in love with a lesbian!

"Oh, and your fired." She said and she spun on her heel and left.

I glanced at Mark's face. His head started to lower, I might have seen a tear. Not sure what to do I ran to him.

"You okay man?" I asked.

Silence.

"Uh, I'll walk you home." I tried to comfort.

He just nodded and started walking.

We walked in silence for several blocks. Trying to read his mind, I finally gave up. Was this how stubborn I was? I finally broke the silence.

"Mark, its okay. She will probably call you and go out with you once again."

"But, I love her." He cried. He looked me in the eyes and I could see his pain. I lowered my head. I knew exactly what that felt like. Losing someone you love.

We went back to our apartment and collapsed on the couch. Our hands were folded on our face. I knew I was setting a bad example to Mark. I needed to help him. He had helped me with April, or tried rather.

I sighed. _April._ Why did she control me? More importantly, why do I let her? Oh yeah, now I remember. Love. Same reason anyone can control anyone else. _Love._


	5. Chapter 5

I went into my room determined to end my sadness with April. I needed to _move on._ Although I will never forget her, or my love for her. I feel now, that she has left me for a purpose. When she and I were still engaged I never got to see Mark or hang, it was all about her. She was my life. Was. I can't keep living with the dead. Although I will always miss her, I need to expand my horizon. I need to pay back the kindness others do to me.

As I sat on the bed and pondered about this, I also thought about Mark. He should hear it to. I stood up and walked over to the door, I peeked through the cracks to see Mark holding a picture of Maureen.

Maybe I couldn't do this. No, I have to.

"Hey Mark." I half-smiled.

"Hey." He mumbled, but he didn't look up.

"How about I make lunch?" I asked. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Thanks."

I went and made lunch for us but I burnt it. We both stared at the gag-worthy meal.

"How about I get carry out?" I asked.

"That would rock." He laughed and teased my poorly done meal. I waved good-bye and headed out of the building. The snow was light and white as it touch the ground near the apartment. I didn't mind the cold though, It felt, _good _actually.

I looked around saw people on the street with no homes, I saw a little boy, starving. I immediately felt attached to the little boy.

"Spare change?" He asked. Shaking.

"Here you go," I said as I took out 5 dollars and handed it to him. His smile thanked me enough. I looked at his frozen body, then at my jacket. I didn't need this. I took my jacket off and slug it around the little boy. His color slowly returned to his cheeks and I waved good bye.

As I kept walking I listened to the wind. Something felt different about it. It didn't remind me of April, but rather something else. I didn't see her anywhere, my eyes were normal.

Suddenly I realized what is was. It was a sign of a new beginning.

**THE END! I know it was really short and I'm sorry, It wasn't really suppose to be very long in the first place! Lol! I hope you guys liked it! Comment please!! Thanks, I need to know if I should write a past for all the characters.**


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